Well now.

Apr. 12th, 2012 02:01 pm
noblescientist: (Star Trek)
Unusual for me to go an entire month without posting anything, but nothing I regard as important has happened. I've been watching Star Trek in my spare time (of which I have plenty); I've been going to my college two days a week; I've made a couple of new characters (one of which is T'Roma, a Vulcan, and the other of which is an incomplete, unnamed shapeshifting character); and one of the boys from my college decided to give me his N64 (and nine games), simply because he doesn't use it.

Oh yes. It seems that my MBTI test result is slightly flexible; every time I take one specific test, I get INTJ, whereas another similar test always gives me ISTJ. Not a big difference, and I do tend to rely more on sensation rather than intuition. Obviously, if I'm sure I'm right, I "go with my gut", as it were, but that isn't a common experience for me. Generally I focus on facts.
(I think I'll go take that first one again, just to see what it says this time.)
EDIT: I re-took the first one; it seems my sensing-vs-intuition must be what mood I'm in or something. I just got both answers by tweaking one question, about which I was already on the fence. So, depending on my mood, I'm INTJ or ISTJ. Intriguing.

There's a Frankie Stein doll that's supposed to come out tomorrow. She's $4.13, in honour of Friday the 13th of April. I found out about this a few weeks ago; however, I misunderstood the dates. I thought she would be sold from 1 April to 13 April, rather than coming out on 13 April. When Tayla and I went shopping the other day, though, she found several, so we each have one. (She also bought one to alter, and make into her own character, Star. I've got to find a Cleo or Ghoulia doll to do mine.)

Thankfully, watching so much Star Trek in my spare time leaves me little time to get bored.

Unfortunately, my insomnia is the same (and worse, at times). It's a good thing Vulcans only need a few hours of sleep per night.
noblescientist: ([insert subtext here])
I have never wanted a mate more than right now.
I'm not a very relationship-oriented being. In fact, I only really have two RL friends. Other than that it's all on-line friends (and a few that I met IRL and then found on-line to keep in touch and for convenience's sake). I only really see myself being with one person romantically-- one of those two RL friends, in fact-- but there's no way she's interested in that any more; we've been there and done that and I think she's done with it.
Problem is, I'm always bored and if I had a mate-- or even just a flatmate, but a mate especially-- I'd be that much better off.
And I don't just mean a girlfriend. Had those. They never last. I mean a mate, meaning one that will last. One that will like my piercings, tolerate my oddities, and not be too demanding sexually. (That's not to say I want to be dominant. That's only to say that I connect with emotional and mental intimacy. Sexual intimacy is an extra, and honestly it's one I could do without.)
And now I sound whiny. [/headdesk]

TL;DR: I need to stop whinging and actually maybe go on a date. [/cringes]
But that requires me to know how to find one... sigh.
noblescientist: (Cleo de Nile)
When did I become such a girlie-girl? Really, I just went to the ladies' room on break specifically to refresh my lip gloss (which I seldom wear) not because my lips were getting dry, but because it didn't look as good as this morning.

I think this scares me a little bit. No idea why. (I should not be embarrassed by this. BUT I SO AM.)

Also, unrelated whine: waaah I miss my hair :<

I want to learn how to do a French twist. I cannot do this with ridiculously short hair (or even moderately short hair, but that is not what I have).

And I want an Irene.

PS: for those of you who do not yet know, I may end up in Boston for my next semester (and so on) of college. Because I can't do my intended major (forensic anthropology) in this state. What the hell, RI.

Oh yeah, and I found a Nefera doll yesterday, totally by coincidence! I randomly decided to stop in Wal-mart and K-mart when Tayla stopped at BK for dinner, and there were two Nefera dolls at K-mart.
Let me just say, the size difference is really odd. Besides that, they should have changed the size of the bloody doll stand to match the doll. But no, Nefera's stand is the same as all the other dolls, which are a good centimetre or two smaller and made in a less muscular-looking fashion. Therefore, my Nefera doll has to stand up specifically by leaning the stand against the side of my shelf. Really, Mattel, use your heads.

On the subject of Monster High, Tayla's been comparing me to Clawdeen for ages... and finally gave up on it and admitted I'm more like Cleo XD
Because while I am pretty loyal to my friends, I often come off as (and sometimes am) the Queen Bitch. It's useful; I effortlessly repel idiots and therefore don't often have to talk to stupid people ;D
noblescientist: (KEEP CALM)
I'm pretty sure that yesterday I got Valentine-rejected for life (even though we've already said we'll be each other's Valentines forever).

Seriously. Ever gotten those mixed signals that say "love" one moment and "not romance" the next? It's really frustrating. And you don't want them to know you're upset, but at the same time, you want them to notice. But, inevitably, they don't. And you know you won't say anything.

So while my Valentine is getting her gift today-- or the next time I see her, anyway-- I don't think it means the same thing to her that it means to me.

Valentine's Day sucks.

Especially when, as you're trying to distract yourself from how restless you are and how much you want to get out and do something, your entire Tumblr dashboard is covered in Valentine's Day shit.

And you keep thinking about the package in your Jeep which contains a Valentine's Day gift and a cosplay prop//gift to your own damn self. And if you can see her today.

And sad and heavy things, and depressing and disturbing things, and things you really shouldn't be thinking about.

The Imp is back.

(Oh, I should probably explain him.)
There's this face I keep seeing in my dreams and my daydreams, and he has dark circles around his eyes as if he never sleeps. His teeth are big, numerous, and pointy; they look like shark's teeth. Oh, and he has no nose. (Or at least, a nose like Voldemort's: flat and snakelike.) I think it's the manifestation of my boredom, because he shows up the most when I'm bored, when my muse Ailill is quiet. (Occasionally it's accompanied by Ailill being stuck in a cage of some sort.)
Either way, when he's around, my muse is silent (or crying in a corner) and nothing creative gets done. So as bored as I am, I can't even draw or write it out.

This is generally when I end up zoning or doing stupid semi-reckless things. Or watching Doctor Who if I have an internet connection that can handle it (which, at the moment, I don't).

So here I rant and rave and curse at the Imp (who needs a name; the only reason I'm calling him the Imp is because that's what my mother called him when I drew him).

My sleep schedule has been bloody stupid lately. I read in a Yahoo featured article today, "Surprisingly, for chronic insomniacs going to bed later and getting up earlier can do the trick. If you’re lying in bed for eight hours but only sleeping for five, try going to bed at 1am and getting up at 6am. It’s tough, say the experts, but after a week or two you should find yourself nodding off in a trice. After that, go to bed 15 minutes’ earlier each week, slowly building up to the length of sleep your body actually needs."
Okay, I've tried that. Repeatedly. My body just will not sleep. I spent the entire night Sunday (and into Monday) trying to sleep, and realised I'd failed when my mother called at eight to wake me, because we were going to drop my car off at the shop, and I was still awake.

And my appetite's been off too. It sucks usually, but lately it's been non-existent. I eat anyway, because otherwise my parents will think I'm anorexic, but I'm still losing weight, and I forget to eat sometimes. A lot, actually; some days I only end up eating dinner because I've forgotten to eat all day, or because I'm so focussed on something else that I don't want to eat.

I hope I can at least visit my Valentine today, because otherwise I have the feeling I'm going to do something stupid, and she'd kill me for that.


Jan. 29th, 2012 03:15 pm
noblescientist: (Sherlock Holmes)
I've found myself zoning an awful lot lately. It's a little disconcerting, when I can start thinking about something and then look up at the clock and it's fifteen minutes-- or more-- later. Did it for an hour this morning.

Tell you what, though, if it's that or these headaches, I'll take the zoning.

My sensitive ears cause a lot of headaches in the first place. The traffic in my head causes headaches sometimes. Sometimes the internal traffic and external auditory input mix into this awful cacophony and I get a migraine instead. (Or sometimes it's my neck and back, because those are screwed up anyway and my chiropractor is all but useless. So add that for another possible factor.)

It's bad when I can't even watch telly with my parents because their ears are slightly worse than average and they turn the TV up to where they can hear it well, which starts a headache for me. Unless it's Jeopardy, I have to constantly ask them to turn it down. For the same reason, unlike most young and young-ish and young-at-heart people, I don't listen to my music very loud. In fact, the music I play the loudest is classical piano, because it's naturally quiet. Yep, and I'm nineteen. Judge me, I dare you.

As I type, my parents are talking to each other. Normal tones of voice. I'm hearing them through my headphones, over my (rather quiet) music, and their voices are hurting my ears. And dammit, I've just taken an Excedrin.

Oh, and my boredom? Still there. Also causes headaches. This is getting ridiculous.

I swear there is something wrong with me.
noblescientist: (blog on)
Well, I was going to blog the night before last, which was my last sleepless night... but livejournal didn't work all night. Consistently.

Hoping tonight's different, because my brain's in hyperdrive and I know I won't be sleeping. Which isn't good, because this is only one night of sleep in between these two, but I can't really control this. I also know I'm going to be doing things all night, because that final episode of Sherlock is gonna keep me going (creatively, at least) for days.

I've also got an "experience" I've got to get down on proverbial paper, because I just need to get it out, but that's for later.

If I were a smoker, this would be a time when I would probably be doing so. (Not sure exactly where that came from, but it's the truth.)

PS: Debating making a tumblr. No idea who'd follow it though. I know a few I'd follow though. I've got probably six tabs' worth of h3rring open right now anyway... [/totally not stalking Texts!Sherlock]
I'll figure it out. Have to figure out how to make it not-boring.


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