noblescientist: (Charles)
[personal profile] noblescientist
So, I've found out some very ugly things about the person I had thought-- mistakenly-- was my best friend. (This, of course, was after an insult that she may not think she gave me.)

I didn't really explain the initial insult, either. But I'm done caring if she sees.

So, eleven months ago, I came out to this friend. 23 April 2012, in fact. She said she knew I was still me, and that she'd love me no matter what. It was exactly what I needed to hear at the time, but in retrospect, it really seems like a line.

Three or four weeks ago (I don't even remember at this point, honestly) she asked me if I'd take her to the Swansea Mall for an Auntie Annie's pretzel sometime soon, because she was really craving them. So, a few days later, I call her back and ask if she still wants to go to the mall. She'd forgotten all about it. (I only got offended about that afterwards. She is forgetful, but I just about guarantee this was because her boyfriend is her main focus now.)

We go to the mall, she picked a couple of things up, she got her Auntie Annie's and we went home. On the way home, we get onto the combined subject of apartments and guys. She doesn't trust guys, etc, etc. She's absurd about it, in fact. She then tells me (when I ask) "now that you're Jim, I don't think I'm comfortable with the idea of sharing an apartment with you anymore."

This is after telling me ten months before that that she knows I'm the same person, and even longer ago, in July or August 2010, suggesting we get an apartment together once we had jobs and had our respective shit together. Also, forgot to mention, she's letting the boyfriend she's been going out with for a month (and has known for less than six years) live with her, and that's fine. But the "best friend" she's known for thirteen fucking years isn't okay to share an apartment with.

And this is a best friend? No, I think not.

She then made it worse by calling me because she "just wanted to talk", followed closely by "by the way, can you take me to Dartmouth sometime soon so I can get my glasses fixed?" This was about a week and a half ago. So I met her at Empire Tea in Newport, and we stopped at the Mad Hatter bakery right down the street before leaving. She spent the entire time talking about how she was having mental issues with certain things with the boy, which are normal, healthy parts of a relationship. I spent the entire time listening and replying with variations on "that's healthy, you're in a relationship; that's part of being in a relationship", etc.
We went to Dartmouth. She got her glasses fixed. I went into FYE to browse. We went home. She continued talking about the boy. I continued not to talk much, and she didn't notice that I wasn't in a good mood.

If a middle school teacher can tell something's wrong after two minutes, a "best friend" should be able to tell after two hours.

And then she called again, a few days ago, "just [wanting] to talk" and "[needing] to see me", which was quickly followed by "by the way, do you mind picking up [the boy] from work?" I told her I had to talk to my mom about something (which I did) and told her I'd talk to her later. Mum got home kinda late-ish, and by the time I was done thinking about this bullshit, I had a headache, and I refuse to drive with a headache.

Anyway.

I found out today that she also tends to tell different people different stories, and I was never really getting the truth when she'd bitch to me about her boyfriend (now ex, obviously). And, as I suspected-- whether intentionally or not-- she was leading him on, just like this other creep that had a crush on her. (She refused to think that she was taking pity on him OR encouraging him when she went to a family wedding with him. As his date. So either she's clueless or she's a manipulative bitch, but I'm not ready to believe that second one.)

I'm done caring. I can't do this anymore. I don't think I care anymore that she'd be "devastated" to lose me as a friend. I can't handle her shit. She shattered my trust in her, and apparently she never trusted me as much as she said she did either. I'm done.

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